There are tons of quotes about love - what with all the love stories in books, movies, and TV shows - but I think that I have found my favorite while reading Allegiant.
"I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that's true of beginnings, but it's not true of this, now.
I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."
It may not be a romanticized depiction of what love is, but that is what I like about it. I love a good romantic love story as much as the next girl, but it's easy to get caught up in the high expectation of love that's depicted. Often the movie ends when the couple is finally together and they live happily ever after - they don't show that after the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, you begin to realize that the sun DOESN'T shine out the other's sphincter, and that is where a lot of relationships fall to pieces.
When I look at the unique set of circumstances that brought Dayne and I together, I see God's hand. The two of us had been friend's first online, via his cousin - my friend - and when there was going to be a big group meetup, we both went. My mom didn't want me to go, but I am stubborn, and I knew I needed to go. Of course, I didn't go looking to find my future husband - I went to be with all my friends. But all it took was me smiling across the room at him, and he was a goner. My moment was when we were all at Union Station and I decided I wanted Ghirardelli and he came with me and bought (or tried to, I can't remember) mine for me - I just remember my heart going like crazy while the two of us walked back to the group. So once we were both home, he finally got up the nerve to ask me out, which I'm glad for because I'm a total chicken and maybe never would have spoke up.
So even when the long-distance was tough, and I wasn't sure it was going to last, I still chose him. God brought us together, but we both individually made the choice to stay committed to each other. Our love isn't like in the movies. We are constantly disappointing and falling short of each others expectations, but still we persevere. Because our relationship has never been based on expectations of each other - it is based on love, trust, and commitment - the latter being the most important, because when all else fails, commitment is what keeps a relationship going strong. So when I look in the beginning of our relationship I can see some uncertainty, but when I think of the future, I know that the two of us can weather any storm together because of that commitment. And that is a pretty good feeling.
This post didn't go in the direction I expected. I mostly just wanted to make a post about the quote, but then I guess I went off on a slight digression. I guess maybe I was just feeling all warm and fuzzy with love. :| So, uhhh.... Love rules! Peace out.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
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